I could hear you coming so I hid by the couch.
You were talking so loudly, I don't know what about.
You were drunker than high school, self-conscious and sweet.
I never ever felt so cool disguised in your sheets.
But I'm a constant headache, a tooth out of line.
They try to make you regret it, you tell them, no not this time.
It's just a constant headache, a dead pet device.
You hang me up, unfinished with the better part of me no longer mine.
And then you finally found me, pretending to sleep.
You said such nice things about me, I felt guilty and cheap.
You took two steps to the kitchen, and just stared at the sink.
I couldn't hold back a smile, I still wish I could have seen you
Having sex in the morning, your love was foreign to me.
It made me think maybe human is not such a bad thing to be.
But I just laid there in protest, entirely fucked.
It's such a stubborn reminder one perfect night's not enough.

Autumn for your ears

I
How Long    Samiam
When You Sleep    My Bloody Valentine
Between Berwyn and Bryn Mawr    Castevet
Head On    The Jesus and Mary Chain
First Date    blink-182
          Mexico    Samiam           
One Of These Days    Owen
Chicago    Sufjan Stevens
Handsome Boy    Saves The Day
Northbound Breakdown    Lifetime
Fall Leaves    Like Bats
Durian    Lemuria    
Light Breathing    The Lawrence Arms
One In The Same    Joie De Vivre
Silly Girl    Descendents
When the Sun Hits    Slowdive
Handsome Devil    The Smiths
Little Jane-Marie    Smoking Popes
Damp Feathers    Snowing
Sugar Kane    Sonic Youth
The "Z" Sealed It For Me    Spraynard
47    Sunny Day Real Estate

http://www.mediafire.com/?7hfd5obiib1v931

II
Catholic Pagans    Surfer Blood
MakeDamnSure    Taking Back Sunday
You Belong With Me    Taylor Swift  
Call In Sick    Teenage Bottlerocket
Reprise    This Will Destroy You
Beach Bummed    Weed Hounds
#86    Weedeater
Perfect Situation    Weezer
Shelter    The xx      
Sunrise    Mixtapes     
Aphelion    Moving Mountains
Five, Eight and Ten    Mineral       
Anyone Else But You    Michael Cera and Ellen Page       
Symphony    Michael Cera       
I Was Born    The Menzingers  
Mea Culpa Cabana    The Menzingers   
Margaret Yang's Theme    Mark Mothersbaugh   
Lord of the rings    Malory       
Bassett St.    CSTVT   
Chesterfield King    Jawbreaker       
Gravity    Rilo Kiley
 http://www.mediafire.com/?h5ola91q2dn8s68

“Love is not in himself noble and worthy of praise; that depends on whether the sentiments he produces in us are themselves noble.”

—	Plato’s Symposium

 

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Kids

I've been a camp counselor for the past 6 years, roughly, and a paid one for the past 3 or 4. It has honestly been such a great experience- kids are funny, they don't care about anything, and believe it or not, you can even learn from them just as much as they can learn from you.

But mainly, it's just extremely fun and rewarding to know that you might be impacting their lives and making good memories of their childhood for them to look back on when such a time comes. The laughs that they provide are real and they even hurt sometimes, in the best way possible. Kids don't care (for the most part) how you look or how popular you are. They don't care about impressing anyone either, simply because they do not know what that is yet.

People always seem so shocked that I am a counselor but I just say with a smile that I am and yes, it is largely unlike me. But like I said, it is so rewarding to just see them enjoy their lives and have fun before they grow up, while their minds are still young and pure.

 

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A Playlist

 Molly - The Dopamines   The Dopamines          
Attaching Transmittals to Erection Drawings - The Steinways   Gorilla Marketing     Milemarking - Banner Pilot   Resignation Day       
Hey Jealousy - The Ergs!   Split 7"       
In One Ear - Iron Chic   Demo 2008           
Tonguebiter - Teenage Bottlerocket   They Came From the Shadows     
Sunday Morning - The Menzingers   Hold On, Dodge       
Dear Boys - Latterman   No Matter Where We Go!       
In A World Of Ghosts... - Lemuria   AOTU Single Series       
Spit Shining Shit - The Lawrence Arms   Buttsweat and Tears      
Worstest Case Scenario - The Dopamines   Soap And Lampshades (Ep)
Leather Jacket - Joyce Manor   Constant Headache    
Oh, Angela - The Steinways   Gorilla Marketing           
Spiders in a Garden - Lifetime   Lifetime       
Wired Wrong - Banner Pilot   Resignation Day   
Do You Still Hate Me? - Jawbreaker   24 Hour Revenge Therapy       
Timecop - Iron Chic   Demo 2008        
Jean Is Dead - Descendents   Milo Goes to College    
The Dispatch - The Dopamines   The Dopamines         
Call In Sick - Teenage Bottlerocket   They Came From the Shadows       
An Ode To Contra, Part 2 - Latterman   No Matter Where We Go!       
Dogs - Lemuria   Get Better       
The Redness In The West - The Lawrence Arms   Buttsweat and Tears       
Hellbound - Like Bats   Demo      
Arena Rock - The Steinways   Gorilla Marketing

 

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New

My friend Julia has been showing me some new music lately of which I have been enjoying greatly. It's always so exciting when you can't stop listening to something so good and refreshing.

• First is Glasser, a band I found through what she has shown me recently. Their album 'Ring' received an 8.0 from Pitchfork, so it must be good right? Absolutely. It is the perfect sleepy-time album and so incredibly relaxing. While listening, I usually picture myself under water with the warm sun reflecting off the surface all around me. 

If this album art doesn't make you want to listen, then that is a shame and you're missing out big time. (click photo for torrent)

• Next is Cults. Like Charles Manson and Jonestown? No, not that kind. This is something far more comprehensible and completely harmless. The reason why I enjoy them so much might be because the female's voice reminds me of a more electric Sheena Ozzella of Lemuria fame. The beats are fun and I often find myself dancing to them without realizing it (most often in the shower). 

Their debut self-titled album has been released in Europe and will be released in the U.S. June 7th (but I'm sure if you look hard enough, you'll be able to find it.) They also have a session on Daytrotter- all you need to do is create an account and then downloads are free!

• Last but certainly not least, is Tennis. I was apprehensive to give them a chance at first since I usually don't like the music Julia does, but boy am I glad I did. 'Cape Dory' is definitely going to be my go-to Summer album, hands down. This is certainly another band I find myself dancing to without realization. The songs are so catchy and reminiscent of a '40s Best Coast. You can't go wrong there. 

 (click picture for torrent)

Other things I have also been listening to lately include: The xx, Grizzly Bear, How to Dress Well,  and Tamaryn. So, in short, I really treasure finding new music that I instantly fall in love with (more or less). How some people never make an effort to listen to new types of music is bewildering and boring...there's so much out there! I pride myself off of expanding my music horizons and my quest in doing so is far from over.

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Tyler, The Creator

I have been meaning to make a post about this for a while and feel that it's finally time, what with all the recent controversy from Tegan and Sara/whoever.

Since the very first time I was introduced to Tyler, I have been utterly captivated. He seemed like an energetic kid full of personality and comedic intelligence. Not only was he, as a person, different than most, but also something completely different in terms of the rap industry. When friends showed me Odd Future videos on Youtube, I was speechless (in an apathetic way) and more or less wrote them off as another small time rap group. Months passed until the video 'Yonkers' went viral. I recall watching it maybe three or four times a day for a week straight. It was then I realized how talented this 20 year old actually is. Some lyrics from his song 'Yonkers':

Jesus called, he said he's sick of the disses
I told him to quit bitching and this isn't a fucking hotline
For a fucking shrink, sheesh I already got mine
And he's not fucking working, I think I'm wasting my damn time.

There is no doubt that this guy is talented, possibly the most talented new rap artist to come onto the scene in quite some time; it is very refreshing that he is not rapping about getting money and sleeping with "hoes", or whatever else you hear on the radio nowadays. Although he does have some extremely racy lyrics, such as:

"I'm fucking Goldilocks up in the forest
In the three bear house eating their muthafuckin' porridge
I tell her it's my house, give her a tour
In my basement, and keep that bitch locked up in the storage
Rape her and record it, then edit it with more shit" -'French! Featuring Hodgy Beats'

"I want to tie her body up and throw her in my basement
Keep her there, so nobody can wonder where her face went
(Tyler, what you doing?) Shut the fuck up, you going to fucking love me bitch
Or I'm a fucking put this gun in your fucking head" -'Sarah'

and of course there's the song title that everyone has been getting in a tizzy over, 'Bitch Suck Dick.'

Keep in mind that when Tyler says these things, that it's just a song and he is not serious whatsoever. That's no excuse for the things he does say, but you simply do not have to listen if it bothers you so much. It's really that simple. It's not his fault if young men misinterpret that and go out disrespecting women, it's theirs and they should face the consequences (need I remind you of Columbine and Marilyn Manson?) Those two shooters still would have killed others, regardless of what music they listened to and no blame should have been placed on Manson for simply making the music he wanted to.

None of these lyrics bother me personally, (but I will oblige that I do cringe at the use of "bitch" once in a while) because I am able to keep in mind that Odd Futue and Tyler are not serious and that they are not out there raping or being violent against women. The use of the words "faggot" and "homo" does not mean that they hate homosexuals either. Although Tyler did say he used to word to describe something that is stupid, it is at least somewhat better than being homophobic. If anyone has an issue with their lyrics as a whole, instead of complaining about them specifically, why doesn't everyone just complain about N.W.A. and the past groups that have paved the way for this kind of music?

The goal of this music and of this group is to be controversial and get a rise out of America and the world, which they have obviously done. Eminem 90s went for shock value in the 90s as well so the situation is no different, both do what they want and have fun with their craft.

"I'm not a fucking role model (I know this)
I'm a 19 year old fucking emotional coaster with pipe dreams
So Kanye tweeted tellin people, hes bumpin all of my shit
these motherfuckers think I'm supposed to live up to something?"
 

Tyler knows what he is doing, he is not a dumb, mindless individual. He's not trying to impress anyone or make kid-friendly rap (but what defines a "kid" these days anyways?) Tyler mentions that you don't have to listen to his music, and I agree wholeheartedly. Don't think differently of someone who enjoys it and don't look down on them for doing so. I know what type of person I am and  am not sexist/homophobic/[trying not to be] ableist/whatever-ist but I still enjoy this music nonetheless. It's fun. It's interesting. It's different than most other rap/hip hop out currently and that's what I appreciate most.

Prom

What is said to be the best time of people's lives, the best night of their young lives, a momentous event-and I didn't go. You may think that I have a problem with this, but I couldn't have less of a problem with not going, in all honesty. I simply do not care and am indifferent about the whole situation. Maybe it's the fact that I have already removed myself from high school mentally and do not want to be involved with such a superficial event, maybe something else. Don't get me wrong, though; if I had been asked, I most certainly would have gone, but what is the point in going without a date or someone to share a slow dance with? Going solo just seems a bit silly and like an enormous waste of money. More power to the girls who find enjoyment out of simply going with friends, but that is not for me.

I could have gone if I really wanted to and if I really complained about it, but alas, I am not that type of person. I've been to a fair amount of high school dances anyways(two), so what is all that different about this other than the fact that girls spend upwards of $500 on a dress and spend the weekend at a lake-house? I don't need to attend a school sponsored event as an excuse to have sex and drink alcohol or do whatever else. Speaking of having sex, I wonder how many girls will lose their virginities this weekend. More power to them as well, I guess.

Well in closing, I just hope that when people realize that I didn't go, that they don't think I'm sad or that it's "uncool" or whatever else. I hope they respect the fact that I chose not to go, as much as I respect them for going and having a great time. I'm just fine with staying home and watching King of the Hill alone and just having some time for myself/reflection.

Parents

I find it strange that I somehow come to miss the parents of old boyfriends more than the person I had dated. I just find it so interesting how you come to know them very well and can see certain common personality traits in their sons. They also have so much to offer in terms of conversation and life experiences, which I value deeply. But most importantly, I appreciate them a lot since I don't live in a two-parent household currently and haven't since the age of 8, therefore, the family aspect is what I really enjoy and what I value being a part of.

Merging Galaxies

Colliding Galaxies

Star Cluster

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Letters to a Young Poet: Sexuality/Gender

We had an assignment in my English class recently to make a "mash-up" or a collage, of a common theme in a book we had recently read. My teacher commended me for mine so I thought I'd share: Google Doc

Thurnis Haley

“Nothing gave her so much pleasure as to hear about the world above the sea.”

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Chromosphere of the Sun during an eclipse

NGC 6302

Surprisingly  my first King of the Hill related post here. No source for this though, wish there was one. I might make some shirt designs with other KOTH quotes and such.

Midwest, USA

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Melting

As senior year of high school is winding down and there is less work to be done, more time is left in class to discuss a variety of different topics. Sometimes these topics relate to what we are currently learning or veer completely down an unrelated path. The other day however, we were discussing the impact technology has on our lives presently. How we are practically attached to our cell phones and how we get dopamine rushes in the brain each time that little red one pops on Facebook or each time you receive a text message. We have become addicted to this dopamine and depend on it to make us happy and to feel a sense of self-worth. Without it, we become antsy, impatient, unable to sit through a 10 minute Youtube video or unable to read an interesting newspaper article or disinterested in class lectures. Our minds are always focused on getting this dopamine that we are always checking our phones and other mobile devices for signs of activity to get us excited.

I notice this in myself, actually quite often unfortunately. The other day, I decided to watch one of my favorite childhood movies, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, the one with Ivan Ooze (aka, the best one) and all throughout watching, I was constantly checking the internet and alternating between the many websites I am hooked on. Before I knew it, the film was over and I did not remember even watching it.  Sad? I know. But this isn't the only case. When reading books assigned from English at home, I catch myself checking my phone during each chapter break or even pauses in the page. Why can't I just sit through a full chapter, say 20 pages, without feeling cut off from the lives of friends or the internet world? I think it is safe for me to say, because it simply provides a sense of comfort and belonging, a network of people who share common interests and care about what's going on in my life as much as I care about theirs. 

Sitting here with a laptop on my lap and the television on in front of me, I wonder what my life would be like had I never bought that first laptop 6 or so years ago. Would I still be as happy as I am now? More so? Possibly less? I know for certain that I would not be the same person, as far as personality goes. I have learned so much about music, photography, and am constantly updated on current events. If the computer/internet are one thing, it would be a learning tool. For this, of course, I am grateful. Adding to this however, I have also met many people in real life from connections we have made through the online world. If I had not been a part of Tumblr, a blogging community, I know for sure that I would not have dated my most recent [ex] boyfriend.

The fact of the matter is this: whether we like it or not, technology is only going to keep advancing, and we are going to keep buying into it. May as well accept this instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and our culture.

Earth orbited by the Moon

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Nardwuar vs. Odd Future

Auroral Substorm

Mars in Northern Summer

Touch

Your neck, your hands, your back. It is soft to the touch, like satin, and as smooth as butter. Feeling your hands on my neck, my waist, my hips, my legs gives me a thrill unlike any other. Your touch makes me weak in the knees when I'm not even standing and it makes me breath fast when I'm laying still. A touch on my clavicle, my neck, my lips; it all makes me nervous and excited to think what happens next.

Mars with clouds

Moon of Neptune - Triton

Neptune

Neptune and Triton

2011 mtvU Woodie Awards Site

Eclipse of the Sun by Saturn (Photograph)
APOD

Saturn's rings

Odd Future

Jupiter

(real image)

Jupiter

 

Made by me, idea from here

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